A Well Developed Bedside Manner

So I go see a doctor about an unusual crusty bit of skin on my stomach. She looks at it and declares it seborrheic keratosis, a benign form of skin tumor. "They're also called age barnacles," she says. And then with a smile full of pity that only a young person can afford to wear, "Saw-reeee." She enthusiastically retrieved "the nitro" and informed me she could freeze it. "It'll slough off in a couple of weeks." What the heck. I've never had anything frozen off before although I thought I came close when I was stationed at Minot. So I stood and raised my shirt. And with no warning about how this was going to feel like a zillion needle sticks she gives me a zillion needle sticks. "The first one is the worst. I have to do this three times." No, pretty much all three hurt just as much as the other. No warning either about the huge blister that arose the following day. And two weeks later the angry looking, scarlet-faced age barnacle has yet to slough off. All in all a most satisfying medical
experience.