Oh, What A Lucky Man He Was

So this girl from Russia emails me and she says her name is Sally. Then her name is really Dariya. And she just moved here from Moscow and she only lives 25 miles away from me. And then she lives in Irkutsk and she's moving to Moscow. And then she lives somewhere else and she's going first to Irkutsk and then to Moscow. And after she gets all her documents she going to come to me! Wow! And she sends me all these pictures of her and she's a dancer and then she's a waitress. Oh, and she's a great cook, too. She loves Mexican, Italian, Russian, and pizza. Talk about having it all in one package. And then she says her mother is so happy that I'm a nice man and that I will take such good care of Dariya.

On a lark I searched the Internet for Dariya's email address and found her pictures on other sites. Whaaaaaaaaaat!!! She's been writing other guys?! My spider senses are tingling and it occurs to me that maybe something isn't quite right. I'm thinking that possibly--and I realize there's an outside chance of this--someone stole her identity. Yeah, and they're trying to pass themselves of as her to these other people, probably in a scheme to rip them off or something. I should warn her about what's going on. I bet she'll be eternally grateful.

Those boots sure do make her look tall. I wonder if she's going to need any help coming here from Moscow.