Why I'm Voting Republican

After a careful review of the Washington State Republican Party 2010 Platform I have come up with the following reasons for voting for Republican candidates.

First of all, our government is a government under God and all our civil liberties are God-given. They don't specify which God, but it doesn't matter that much. In the major religions women are subservient and subordinate and that's okay with me.

The federal government has too much power and much of that must be returned to the states. And we must not have a state income tax to pay for the state to have the ability to enforce and utilize the aforementioned essential powers. Besides, we don't like what state agencies like the Department of Ecology and Department of Labor and Industries have done so the state should push those newly acquired powers down to the county and city level where we can get a firm grip on them.

Even though we pay too many taxes and must decrease them, we also must spare no expense to ensure our military strength never falters no matter what the latest threat is. Just like we're doing today. It's important for immigrants to come here as long as they do so legally and discard their language and culture and become real Americans.

Although marriage between one man and one woman did not stop highly admired men like Abraham and Thomas Jefferson from fathering a child elsewhere, we still believe strongly in traditional marriage. Preventing homosexuals from marrying is a fair trade to them for us not killing them like the bible says to. Life is sacred from the moment of conception to that of natural death, except when we kill someone for committing a crime.

Privatizing schools so they can make money is preferable to public schools where children can be indoctrinated. Properly indoctrinated adults should get themselves elected to school boards to facilitate conservative control. Students borrowing money to attend increasingly expensive colleges should do so from banks and other private financial institutions who can use that burdensome debt to make more money, not from the government where they won't be blindsided by terms that can change on a whim.

Although we are compassionate towards ill people, we want to take away their new health care and make them responsible for themselves. Uninsured people should have the freedom to choose which emergency room they seek care from, preferably nonprofit ones. Private health insurance companies should be free to choose which healthy people they provide coverage for.

The protection of property rights is imperative and the more property you own the more rights you have. Even though America currently imprisons more people than any other country and neither that nor the death penalty has reduced crime, we want to keep putting people away and kill them when necessary.

Since air quality has improved so much we can afford to be lax for a while. The science of climate change should take place among independent researchers we agree with and not the independent researchers who overwhelmingly agree that climate change is primarily man made. Agriculture in Washington is very important, but even though people don't eat trees that shouldn't prevent us from harvesting as many as we want.

Transportation is extremely important, especially if we repeal growth management. People living well away from city areas where their jobs are need multi-lane roads to drive their suburban assault vehicles on until we run out of gas.

How can I not support all that?